Facts About Mens
1. Men who have pierced ears are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
2. If you buy your husband or boyfriend a video camera, for the first few weeks he has it, lock the door when you go to the bathroom. Most of my husband's early films end with a scream and a flush.
3. If it's attention you want, don't get involved with a man during play-off season.
4. Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
5. Don't try to teach men how to do anything in public. They can learn in private; in public they have to know.
6. A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
7. All men hate to hear "We need to talk about our relationship." These seven words strike fear in the heart of even General Schwarzkopf.
8. Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
9. Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
10. Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
11. Most men hate to shop. That's why the men's department is usually on the first floor of a department store, two inches from the door.
12. If a man says, "I'll call you," and he doesn't, he didn't forget...he didn't lose your number...he didn't die. He just didn't want to call you.
13. Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, "Are we going to have sex again?" He said, "Yes, but not with each other."
14. Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
15. Men forget everything; women remember everything.
16. All men would still really like to own a train set.